Daphne Rose Kingma Coming Apart
The Magical World of Madadme Metier—A Spiritual Fairy Tale
Book Review: Coming Apart by Daphne Rose Kingma January 27, 2017 by Valerie Fowler Being a big reader, when my marriage fell apart one of the first things I sought after was the comfort of a book.
An enchanting tale of love, magic and miracles—one woman’s amazed awakening to her own vast spiritual powers, and a love story never to be forgotten.
They lived and made this history, and much of it is told in their own words.The material contributed by these men of the 101st Airborne Division, the Armor, Tank Destroyer, Army Air Force, and others is tailored meticulously by the author and placed on the historical framework known to most students of the Battle of the Bulge.Pieces of a nearly 60-year-old jigsaw puzzle come together in this book, when memoirs from one soldier fit with those of another unit or group pursuing the battle from another nearby piece of terrain. 
'Fleshes out in vivid detail the entire story of the Screaming Eagles' valiant struggle. This is must reading for any student of World War II history' ( Kepler's Military History ).The Battered Bastards of Bastogne is the product of contributions by 530 soldiers who were on the ground or in the air over Bastogne.
Readers comments:
“I do not think I have ever read anything like this story. I giggle and smile and am awed again and again at the beauty of the poetric writing and the soul that is infused in every word and phrase. I have now, reluctantly, finished, and the story is still living with me. This should be on EVERY Best Seller list. It is amazing. Daphne’s writing is incredibly beautiful.”
—Bj H, Colorado
“I just read your new book, and I just loved it! Beautifully written, a beautiful story. Inspiring. A page-turner. Everything!!
—Judy R, California
The Ten Things to Do When Your Life Falls Apart: An Audiobook
Read by Daphne and available on Audible.com. Click here to view product page. Click on SAMPLE (under cover image) to get a feel for the book
Listeners Comments:
“Beautiful book. I listen to this book over and over and always find something new and deeper each time.”
—Carole B.R.
“Very Powerful. I wish I could tell the world that this is a very special book and well worth every moment you listen!”
“Beautifully written and narrated. The author covers every aspect of life’s pitfalls and how to handle them. A very talented writer with heart.”
—Chris J.
Truly Wonderful. I’ve already listened to portions twice. I found this book VERY inspiring, and I truly loved the performance. Daphne has true feeling and emotion to her voice and is a joy to listen to.”
—Ryan H
The Ten Things to Do When Your Life Falls Apart: An Emotional and Spiritual Handbook (paperback)
Whether you’re struggling with money problems, job loss, relationship issues, a health crisis or all of the above, this book will be a light unto your path. Along with giving sound practical advice, it will help you find a sense of peace and renewal.
“Anyone going through a dark night of the soul needs to read this book. It will be your closest companion and your most tender angel. Daphne Rose Kingma more than speaks to your soul; she knows how to heal it.”
–Marianne Williamson, author of A Return to Love
Publishers Weekly, The Ten Things to Do When Your Life Falls Apart is “A lifeline for those in the isolating depths of personal tragedy. /With chapters dedicated to the necessity of tears, the freedom of letting go, and the fulfillment found in simple living, these ten practices techniques are very realistic indeed. But underlying the straightforward advice is an enlivening spiritual message. This work is about more than just getting by. Trumpet lip slur exercises pdf. It directs the reader toward transcendence and peace.”
—Publiishers Weekly
Coming Apart: Why Relationships End and How to Live Through the Ending of Yours
The American classic on ending relationships. Over 300,000 copies in print. Currently celebrating its 25-year run!
Relationship’s coming apart and taking you with it? Then this is the book for you. For more than 25 years, the essential guide on living through the end of an intimate relationship.
Coming Apart will tell you why your relationship ended and how to go through the emotional process of letting go. No nonsense, factual, inspiring, and just plain incredibly helpful, COMING APART is a hand to hold while you go through the devastating heartbreak of ending a relationship.
Readers Comment:
“As I am going through the break-up of my thirty-two-year marriage, it is as though I am walking in a pitch dark place, not knowing whether I’m dead or alive. This book has given me the comfort and support I need in order to know that I’m not alone, and that there are steps I can go through toward healing this devastating pain.”
“Of all the books I’ve read on divorce and separation, this was the first to make me feel okay about the end of my marriage.”
“This book will help you to understand why your relationship ended and why you two got together in the first place. It’s a wonderful book! I highly recommend it to anyone who’s going through the pain of a breakup.”
“This book isn’t just for someone going through a break-up. It’s an eye-opening teaching about relationships in general. A must-have for anyone in a relationship—or anyone who wants to have a relationship.”
Groundbreaking, controversial and inspiring, The Future of Love delivers the message that it is actually the soul—our spiritual essence—that is creating both havoc and beautiful changes in the world of our relationships.
Whether you’ve had a sequence of intimate relationships instead of a single life-long marriage, or your relationship life has followed what seems like a long and winding road, this book will help you see all your relationships from an enlightening spiritual perspective.
“Daphne Rose Kingma is one of the knowers on the planet, one of the women who see things and pass on the information. She takes our hands and guides us past the war zones of relationships to the peaceful meadows of a higher love.”—from the Foreword by Marianne Williamson.
Selected by “Conversations with God” author Neale Donald Walsh as “One of the Ten Books That Can Change the World.”
Readers Comment:
“THE FUTURE OF LOVE is a literary masterpiece. It shines like a star in the night, guiding us to a new and much improved view of ourselves and our relationship histories. With compassionate words and crystal-clear logic, Kingma explains why failure in love is actually impossible—because Love is who we are.
“This book has profound insight and brilliance on every page. Your eyes will be opened to the higher power of relationships that Kingma shows is very real, and very possible. An essential book for anyone who has been in a relationship. A definite must read!”
Finding True Love: The Four Essential Keys to Discovering the Love of Your Life
If you’ve ever wondered what’s kept you from falling in love, this is the book for you! It will inspire, inform and instruct you and help you see how you may be sabotaging your own quest for love.
Multitudes of people who’ve read this book have finally found the love of their lives! So take heart. If you’re still looking for the person of your dreams, let this helpful, instructive, inspiring book show you the way. the love you’re looking for is also out there looking for you. Read this book and materialize the person /beloved/ of your dreams.
Readers Comment:
“If you haven’t yet discovered Daphne Rose Kingma, you’re in for a treat. In “Finding True Love,” Kingma shares wisdom gleaned from her 25 year career as a therapist, providing encouragement and inspiration for even the most lovelorn among us.”
“Kingma is a master at helping us unconditionally love ourselves as we learn to trust spirit to bring us the love of our lives—even when our hearts may have been broken so many times before. She shares touching stories that illustrate her points, and offers a glimpse of what love can be, if only we learn to allow it fully into our lives.“
“This book can change your life forever. I give it my highest recommendation!”
“After not being in a relationship for nine years, something opened for me after reading this book. Within three months, I found the love of my life, and we’ve now been happily married for more than four years!”
Weddings from the Heart: Contemporary and Traditional Ceremonies for an Unforgettable Wedding
Absolutely inspiring sermons, rituals, prayers, readings and teachings about weddings and marriage. Quoted in the NY Times for including the most unforgettable statement about marriage. Used by hundreds of thousands of people to custom tailor the ceremony for the most important day of their lives.
True Love: How to Make Your Relationship Sweeter, Deeper, and More Passionate Paperback
A simple, delightful, down-to-earth and incredibly helpful book on the simple practices of love that can make all the difference in your relationship. Multitudes of couples keep it on their beside tables, read a selection to each other every night and find that the their relationships improve by leaps and bounds.
Deceptively simple, provocatively profound—a collection of readings on love and relationships for every day of the year. The more you attend to love, the more love—in all its forms—will be available to you. Treat yourself to a reading from this inspiring book as you begin each day.
When You Think You’re Not Enough: The Four Life-Changing Steps to Loving Yourself (paperback)
Unfortunately that sense of feeling like you’re not enough is all too common to too many people. This book heartfully addresses this disheartening state of affairs.
Of all the forms of love, self-love is the most difficult. This book explains why it’s so darn hard to love ourselves and offers four simple yet profoundly effective steps on the path to self compassion. The great news is that you really can learn to love yourself even if you’ve had a terrible childhood and have no idea where to begin. This book will show you how. You’ll be amazed at the changes you can make and how great you’ll feel about yourself after you’ve made them. A little gem of a life-changer.
Readers Comment:
“This is a sweet, elegant, profound little book.” “This book is extraordinary. For a little book, it certainly packs a punch.” “Of the many Daphne Kingma books I have read over the years, this is my favorite. Daphne scores big with this one, reminding us that if we really do want “big love” in our lives, we absolutely have to love ourselves first. Then she expertly shows us how. I especially enjoyed reading about her remarkable journey trekking through the Himalayas in Bhutan. An amazing quest, which Daphne reminds us is symbolic of the inner journey we must all take.”
The Men We Never Knew: How to Deepen Your Relationship with the Man You Love (paperback)
Explains men like no other book you’ll ever read! At a time when men and women really need to understand each other—which is all the time—this book reveals the secrets of men’s hidden emotional lives so that women can better connect with them.
While men often admit they don’t understand women, women tend to assume they understand men–and therein lies the problem. This book sets the record straight and shows how very differently men and women live with their feelings. Learn men’s hidden emotional codes and how to encourage men to become more emotionally present.
A must-read for any woman trying to understand the man in her life and for men who are trying to understand themselves!
“This book offers hope and shines out as a gift of love to both men and women.”—John Gray, author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus
“It joy to read a book written by a woman who cares so deeply about men’s inner lives.”—Mark Gerson, author of A Choice of Heros
Readers comment:
“After reading The Men We Never Knew, I have so much more compassion for men and their dilemma in not being able to express their most tender emotions. I recommend this book for every adult woman who truly wants men to express themselves and to connect with them on a profound level.”
“This powerhouse of a book addresses very deep issues in understanding both men’s and women’s hearts and minds. Everyone who wants to understand men and women better will benefit from reading this book.”
“As I read this book, I saw so many of the men I have known, and I was finally able to understand what they were going through. Reading this book is giving me the opportunity to change my thinking about men and my relationships with men, not only romantic relationships, but all my relationships with men. I am going to give this book to all my women friends.”
The 9 Types of Lovers: Why We Love the People We Do & How They Drive Us Crazy
Everybody has a personality type and if you don’t know yours, your husband’s, your boss’s, your children’s or your in-laws’, life can be a challenge. This is a deceptively simple but extremely informative book about the nine garden-variety personality types we all engage with every day. Not only will it help you understand yourself and the people in your life, but because of knowing all the different types you will increase the harmony and pleasure in all of your relationships. Instead of blaming and judging, you’ll find yourself appreciating all the types because of their unique characteristics.
A definite boon to couples, this book has also been widely used in corporations for team building and just plain helpful psychological awareness. Learn your type and types of all the people you engage with.
Reader Comments:
“I found a great description of myself and my wife, and I was able to classify many others as well.” “This book is fun and easy to read. It outlines some very basic truths about How We Are, and is a great resource for anyone stuck in a pattern of choosing the same kind of (unsuccessful) relationship, over and over again.”
All the self-help books and advice, all the therapy and support groups, even the most fabulous, successful career in the world won’t really help at all—until we learn to love ourselves. In Loving Yourself, Daphne Kingma claims that until we practice loving ourselves–and it takes a lot of practice—we will never be able to love others fully and completely.
She writes, “For so many of us, loving ourselves is our greatest emotional problem. Kingma points out that self-love is not narcissism, egotism, greed, self-righteousness, self-involvement, stubbornness, or conceit. Rather, it is the singing spring from which we become who we weremost truly meant to be.”
Next to the death of a loved one, the ending of a relationship is the most painful experience most people will ever go through. Coming Apart is a first-aid kit for getting through the ending. It is a tool that will enable you to live through the end of your relationship with your self-esteem intact.Daphne Rose Kingma, the undisputed expert on matters of the heart, explores the critical facets of relationship breakdowns:
- Love myths: why we are really in relationships
- The life span of love
- The emotional and unconscious processes of parting
- How to get through the ending
- ow to create a personal workbook for finding resolution
Originally published in 1987, and continuously in print since then, with more than half a million copies sold, Coming Apart has been an important resource for hundreds of thousands of readers experiencing the pain and stress of a break-up. For anyone going through the ending of a relationship Kingma is a caring, sensitive guide.
This re-packaged edition includes a new introduction by the author.
EXCERPT FROM CHAPTER 1
A Hand to Hold
Ending a relationship is so painful and makes us feel so awful--bad, hopeless, inadequate, desperate, lost, lonely, and worthless--that most of us are afraid we won't live through it. We feel bad about what our families will think, we're afraid of what the neighbors will think, we feel terrible for our children, we worry about leaving our houses, and we're anxious about our financial futures. But worst of all, we feel badly about ourselves. Not only are we losing context, history, and the familiar choreographies of our lives, but we are also losing a sense of who we really are and we get shaken to the core about our own self-worth.
At precisely the moment when we most need some perspective, some sense that there are reasons besides our own failures to account for what is happening, we are most inclined to take the blame entirely upon ourselves. It is exactly because it is such a natural inclination to define the ending of a relationship as a personal failure--and, consequently, to go through what is often a devastating crisis in self-esteem--that it is terribly important to see that there are always some other factors operating when a relationship ends.
Rather than viewing the end of a relationship as a statement of personal failure, I believe there are always good, legitimate, and understandable reasons why relationships end. These reasons have to do with the chemistry and process of relationships themselves.
In our individual lives, relationships are one of the most important vehicles by which we create our identities and through which we define ourselves. Since this is the case, it may be that we will create a number of relationships to achieve that self-definition, and, consequently, we may end one or several relationships in a single lifetime.
A relationship is a process and not a destination. It is not necessarily the final emotional resting place of the persons who enter into it, but a vital and growing entity that has a life--and a lifetime--of its own.
While we don't give it much thought, our most strongly internalized myth about love is that 'love is forever.' Our popular music and literature continually assert this, and even aside from this encouragement, we tend to see relationships as permanent, to assume that once they have begun, they will go on, immutably, forever.
And yet, with increasing frequency, relationships do end. One out of every two marriages ends, and uncounted numbers of short- and long-term unions not legalized by marriage also end. These stunning statistics certainly prove that love is not forever, yet when our relationships end, we judge ourselves harshly, according to the values implied by the myth of forever.
The truth is that since we first embroidered this myth on our hearts, our relationships have gone through innumerable transformations, while our thinking about them has not. As a result, an incredible number of people are suffering through the trauma of ending their relationships with guilt, rage, self-flagellation, and a profound loss of self-esteem as the only emotional hallmarks of parting.
We all seem to be experts at falling in love. We even have a number of commonly agreed upon rituals for courting. But we don't know much about what goes on inside of a relationship, and we know even about how to end one. Survivors of ended relationships haven't left us much of a trail as to how they made it through this painful rite of passage. We know that there are some survivors, that hardly anyone dies or ends up in an insane asylum because of having ended a relationship. Indeed, among the 'survivors,' we know many examples of transformed men and women, people who are happier after their break-ups and divorces. But we don't know how they made it through the terrible experience.
That's one of the reasons endings are so difficult. We don't know how to do them. We don't know how to get through the endings of relationships. We've all seen people around us going through their endings (or we've even done it once or twice ourselves), and what we see are people in pain, bouncing off the walls emotionally and having to go through radical upheavals in their lives and circumstances. In general, our observations teach us that the endings of relationships are frightening indeed, and this makes us very afraid of going through an ending of our own. Sometimes we are even afraid to acknowledge that the dissolution of the relationship might actually be an improvement because we are so afraid of going through whatever we'll have to go through in order to accomplish it.
One of our greatest fears about ending a relationship is that in the process of parting we will have to experience feelings that will overwhelm us and from which we will never be able to recover. We all suspect that the ending of our relationship is going to take us into some deep emotional waters. We are already feeling vaguely out of control as we contemplate the possibility of the ending, and we sense that the ending itself will take us in over our heads emotionally and leave us feeling totally out of control. This fear is so immense--and so pervasive--that even if a soothsayer could tell us unequivocally that in twenty-five years we would still be as unhappy in our present relationship as we are now, we would probably still be afraid of ending it. Many of us would rather do anything--including continuing to live in a miserable, lifeless, spirit-defeating relationship--than go through all the feelings of ending a relationship.
Another great fear is that, once having ended our present relationship, we will never love or be loved again. While this feeling is very frightening, it has been my experience that, for the most part, this is not the case; in fact, an overwhelming majority of my clients who ended relationships went on to establish new and much more satisfying unions. These happier relationships resulted when people were willing to learn the lessons their previous relationships had to teach.
I have helped hundreds of people through the process of ending their relationships: people who precipitated the ending, people who resented the ending, and couples who mutually agreed upon the ending. My experience is that whether you leave or were left, if you are willing to go through the process of ending in a directed and thoughtful way, without avoiding any part of the emotional process, you can go on to establish a new and more satisfying relationship.
The purpose of this book is to hold out a hand to anyone who is already going through the ending of a relationship and who, as a result, is feeling all the difficult, scary, and unfamiliar feelings that accompany a parting. (If you are not sure your relationship is ending or should end, begin by reading the coda, which starts on page 155.) By showing you that relationships do have legitimate reasons for ending, by guiding you through the normal emotional stages that occur, and by providing you with a first-aid kit for getting through the ending, this book will enable you to live through the end of your relationship with yourself and your self-esteem intact.
Copyright ©2012 Coming Apart: Why Relationships End and How to Live Through the Ending of Yours by Daphne Rose Kingma. Reprinted with permission of Red Wheel Weiser.
Published by Red Wheel Weiser